Ebbene sì assolutamente random :P tanto parlo così un po di quello e un po' di questo :P
Sono broncopolmonitoso! che culo vero? 20 giorni chiusi in casa senza potersi lavare se non qualche spugnatura... quando sei già a metà ti guardi allo specchio e ti chiedi... "Ma sono io quello allo specchio?" :D va beh... adesso che mi pagano però posso andare dal barbiere! (appena guarisco!)
SIIIIIIIIIII' mi PAGANO!
hihi almeno così ho un modo di:

1. andare in vacanza con XXX...
   
2. finire il computer!
3. porre base per muovermi a fare il dottorato! :D
   
   quindi insomma broncopolmonite a parte la vita nn va per niente male! :D e va bene COSI'!
   
   mmm profondo questo post....
   
   Cia a tutti!
   
   Haakon
   
   

 

 

Uhm... bene... benvenuti alla nuova puntata de "Il circolo delle insicurezze di Vanja". (Uff senza una birra è più difficile scrivere.. maledetta inibizione) :P

Sta sera ho visto un film molto, molto bello; la solita storia che finisce bene dove tutti finiscono felici e contenti!! Ma... eh si c'è un ma.. altrimenti questo post non avrebbe senso. E' il punto di partenza di quel film che mi ha preso allo stomaco... io ODIO con tutto il mio essere le situazione precarie... sono indefinite e incerte e se prese sottogamba possono tirarti giù....

Dio sarà il mio pessimismo cosmico, ma non esiste che due persone che per motivi avversi sono sul lastrico riescano a truffare la gente cosi... e poi riescano a diventare ricchi o tornare cmq al vecchio stile di vita...

Insomma nonstante sia UN BEL FILM mi ha preso male.. sono favolette per sognare e quando sei lili per vedere cosa tiene in serbo per te il tuo futuro ti prende male... :/

buona notte a tutti

Vanja [A.K.A. Haakon]

...Depression Day oppure Know What Your Talking About Day!

Bah... son due giorni che ci penso e più continuo a farlo più continuo a pensare che parte della mia retta dell'università è andata in quella giornata... Un ammasso di industrie, anche importanti, a contatto con la futura ipotetica "classe dirigenziale".

Fin qua lo spettatore esterno direbbe "FIGO! la tua università che cerca di farti trovare lavoro!" e fosse stato così avrei detto lo stesso! Ma un paio di cosucce non andavano esattamente bene... la pochezza delle industrie rappresentate, la poca preparatezza delle persone con cui si parlava, varie ed eventuali...

Comunque la cosa che mi ha dato piu fastidio è stata che l'offerta migliore di lavoro (del giro che ho fatto) è venuta da una industria(la TETRAPAK) che propriamente non centra NULLA con quello che sto studiando... bah... e poi.. vogliamo parlare dell'ignoranza galoppante di quelli mandati a pubblicizzare quanto sia figo e bello lavorare per loro?!?! Gente che non sa distinguere un biotecnologo da un biologo (non molti lo sanno ma si spera che quelli del settore almeno si...) e spara sentenze a caso come "un biotecnologo nn potrebbe fare nemmeno l'informatore scietifico" COSA?!?!?! ma siam fuori!? Di laboratorio abbiamo il triplo della preparazione che qualsiasi biologo possa mai avere... e quindi andare in giro a presentare Kit e strumenti non sarebbe un lavoro per noi?

Bah bah e ribah! Per fortuna ho le idee chiare su quello che voglio fare del mio futuro(piu o meno :P ) e mi sto muovendo di conseguenza... -.-

Spero che tra i buoni propositi dell'Alma Mater Studiorum per il Career Day sia di ampliare sensibilmente il repertorio di aziende presenti e sopratutto che renda chairo la necessità della presenza allo stand di qualcuno che SA di cosa sta parlando.

Haakon (A.K.A. Vanja)

...chi mi conosce lo sa... io difendo la musicalità e la velocità dell'inglese sull'italiano... ma come si fa quando senti recitare questi versi:

Vero non vero il cavallo che fosse il cavallo vero non vero. Lieti, giù per la corda, si calano i greci guerrieri /  Tessandro, Stenelo, ed Ulisse Acamante Toante e Nottolemo e Peo, costruttore del mostro di legno, Menelao e Macaone e vanno all'assalto di Troia che dorme sepolta nel vino. Ammazzano le guardie / spalancano le porte / e si uniscono ai compagni, saccheggiano, incendiano, distruggono. Annegano il sonno nel sangue...

Come si fa a non rimanere incantati...

Come dire sono.... solo 2 anni e qualche sputo di mese che nn scrivo qualcosa... e molte cose sono cambiate.
1) Partiamo dal fatto che dopo 6 mesi di tentativi di far ripartire un rapporto ho deciso di troncare 4 anni e 7 mesi di storia.
2) Praticamente a ruota mi sono ritrovato tra le braccia di una ragazza di cui mi sono innamorato... che mi ha dato tutta se stessa (e io uguale)... prima di lasciarmi per vivere un sogno di amore col suo coinquilino...
3) Infine riemerso dalla situazione in cui ero sprofondato ritrovo una ragazza che mi piace.. ma... nn si capisce cosa vuole lei...
Ottimo direi... adesso non posso fare altro che vedere cosa mi tirerà in faccio questo anno :) e devo dire... sono curioso!

PseudoAggiornamento 15/04/04
After around 8 months of nothing I've changed my photo...I've putte THAT GRAN GNOCCA of my GF!!!!! Isn't she the best girl EVER!?!? I love you Silvia!

05/08/03 (0.41am)
ehm....what to say...there had been SO MANY THINGS this months i've not been writing in here...
My six month with Silvia...mmmmm that night we ate so well....mmm I still remember that syrolon steak... And then so many exams in the middle...Organic chemistry and others wich all went quite well...My B'day!!!! That had been a terrific DAY!! I've had so many beautiful presents!!!(I've recived one of them lot's of days before my B'day coz I really needed it ASAP!) And then My b'day party wich went so well(not so much the end thought) and has been so funny!!! and now holydays a week with my dearest love and fabio wich went quite well for me and Silvia and quite bad for fabio ...grrrrrrrrr... "dickhead elena hit again"
And now I'm here in genova to thank my relatives over here since they've contributed so much at my B'day present and I really missed them!!! So here we are....a year older than the last...what to say...so many things has happend this year everyone of us has changed in many different ways...and no one could have immagined it...
I feel different more responsible more "with my life in my hand" more....adult
It's like when I came back from Aus. everything felt different with a new light...2 years or so have passed since that feeling...I'm growing..and fast at that GOD! if it continues at this pace I'll have my degree a job and a few children of my own before even noticing it....that's not good...
I need to speak to someone about that...it's scary...bloody simone it's oversea...grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr WHY IN THIS F$£KING world I have to rebuild all my best friends's lair back from the ashes of the old one! AND all because for stupid reasons all my Best friends are ashes(not all there's only one and a half wich has not disappeared...hell will I ever have this answer!?!?
27/04/03 (1.24am)
Today a thing has happend I've ended my pain over Gio...it seems strange but yes it has happend NOW!!! I'm Free I feel no more obligations over her I felt even annoyed at having those photos in my room now they are in an album as memories not as ghosts haunting me! I'M FREE!
26/04/03
Well another month has passed and a bit more of the next one...many exams has passed by and the time like water has flowed...My love it's more than 4 months that we are one! It's seem like I lived in a fake world before you came to wake me up for this reason I want to dedicate this song to you only you and no one else in this world:
bring me to life (Evanescence)

how can you see into my eyes like open doors
leading you down into my core
where i've become so numb without a soul my spirit sleeping somewhere cold
until you find it there and lead it back home wake me up inside
wake me up inside
call my name and save me from the dark
bid my blood to run
before i come undone
save me from the nothing i've become

now that i know what i'm without
you can't just leave me
breathe into me and make me real
bring me to life

wake me up inside
wake me up inside
call my name and save me from the dark
bid my blood to run
before i come undone
save me from the nothing i've become
bring me to life

frozen inside without your touch without your love darling only you are the life among the dead

all this time i can't believe i couldn't see
kept in the dark but you were there in front of me
i've been sleeping a thousand years it seems
got to open my eyes to everything
without a thought without a voice without a soul
don't let me die here
there must be something more
bring me to life
08/03/03
ehm...around 3months since I last wrote here....I should be keeping this diary a bit more updated...
Well let me think...well I MUST say that I'm in love with Silvia...it's good to feel good again!! a few days and I'll be in a full storm coz the new exams period's coming this way...well...I'll do them pass them and then relax! I fell a bit strange a few things are happening these days...like I've had a discussion with Eli(my best friend) but I think that it will be resolved in the right way! uhm....YES! how could I not remember this! I'm ALONE AT HOME FOR 2 WEEKS! mother's on the othe side of this sick sad world!!! THIS IS GOOD!!! =) well a part that Silvia has been sick from the day she got at my place there's nothing new! ;P
C'YA to all of u!
24/12/02
Some changes are due to this page... 2 bloody months I don't write... a bloody lot of stuff has happend:
a)I've broken up with Alessandra. Micia I'm sorry but this was amenable I couldn't stand the distance anymore I'm so REALLY sorry I've made u suffe u didn't deserve anything the like!! Thx for everything I WILL NEVER disappear from u'r life! I will always be u'r guardian ( blind?? ;P )angel!
b)I've done math exam...It really suked just a mere 22...this is disgusting! well for the rest I'm preparing some other exams...I hope i can do them well!!!
c)........
FOR EVRY BLOODY ONE WHO THINKS ME A SPECIAL PERSON DO NOT BELIVE IT! I'M NOT! I DON'T WANT ANYONE ILLUDEDD THAT I'M SPCIAL AND EXPECTS ME TO BE SO COZ I'M FUCKING NOT!
31/10/02
Ehm...what can i write in here?! Maybe that I've met an Angel? She's from here...I met her...I've liked her as i've ever like very few persons in my life... We are toghether now but still the only way to have her near is to think about her about how good we look toghether. Micia I really like u and U only know how strong is my longing for you! Meowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!
20/10/02
Ok I've waited a lot's of time before writing in here again coz there was lot's on the stake so Before writeing something definite in here i preferred waiting! =P So Everything is going BLOODY fine with gio WE ARE FRIENDS! We resolved all our problems we havve clarified everything and now we are definitely friends! =) I can't wait for Ale to come over here and since I know she checks this diary from time to time I'll not write anymore in here.... =P LOL!! I'm jokeing!!! =) I feel good when i talk with Ale but still she's so far away...we'll menage something about it I'm sure of it! =P Well uni still going on and I really like it!! It's so good!!! No stupid subjects like italian or italian letterature only SCIENCE science and MORE SCIENCE!!! =) MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAH!!!! MY TOMATOES WILL CONQUER THE WORLD!!!!!!! MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! =P
12/10/02
My life HAS changed! =) I've broken up with Gio...I'm not feeling bad but still I miss her..at least a little bit! I'm having a good look around to see what I can get and I found some very good things...Irene such a good girl cute & intelligent, Alessandra older than me but still so affectionate to me... I like them both...I NEED an Harem!! =) no I'm jokeing! =) The uni has started!!! It's so good Yet so difficoult!!!!! I really like it!!!!
26/09/02
My life's changing...everything is changing...what should I do?? Leave her......fell the pain of losing something the I like but wich won't let me stay in peace with her love!?! I strive for an answer for a solution wich will see me alone afar from her but still free from a pointeless situation or with her with this bloody goddamn situation resolved...let's hope for some peace...
21/09/02
A song for my thoughts:
I feel the heat from the flames
I'm dying the essence of pain
This bitter life has come to an end
My mind is tired my heart is bleeding
I can feel the taste from the nectars of Eden
Never again shall I face the pain of living
In a world of shame

When my yellow dies under velvet thoughts
I feel no pain within
I've kissed the crystals of Eden

Out of the fire I leave this bitter pain
My only desire get away from this world of shame
Come take me higher save me from the flames
The essence of power a jester's sweet charade

I feel the pain decline
I'm leaving this world behind
I feel the pain decline
I'm leaving this world behind

Never again. No more pain
I feel the taste from the nectars of Eden

I am leaving this world of utopia
No more sadness cause I'm on my way
In a state unacquainted to nausea
In the Garden of Eden I stay

I feel the pain decline
I'm leaving this world behind
I feel the pain decline
I'm leaving this world behind

Out of the fire I leave this bitter pain
My only desire get away from this world of shame
Come take me higher save me from the flames
The essence of power a jester's sweet charade
(Ebony tears - Nectars Of Eden)
19/09/02
What in the fuck has happend to the bloody world...and most of all to my bloody (?)EX(?) GF! well I foking got nothing else to say...SHIT I'm so angry as I've never been...have I lost an angel or am I free from conscription!??
WHO KNOWS....
16/09/02
Poor love... =) today u start school... =)MWUAHAHHAHA! =) ok that's mean but I always dreamt to say this to someone! =) Well Everything in my life... I got a wonderful GF Lot's of treu (or they seem so) friends I've got lot's of job proposal...SHOULD I ASK FOR MORE?!
....YES!
Always ask for more! 'till the life ends!!!
Dear only diary..I got absolutely nothing to write on this blasted Hp....so SEE YA WORLD to when I got something to tell ya! =)
one last thing!
GIO' TI AMO!!!!!!!!!
09/08/02
Well....it's a month and 2 days that I'm 20 years old...I've Already wasted a quarter of my life...nice thought!
Today I'm still in australia and I went Whale watching DAMN!!! It has been beautiful!!!! It was shoking to see such big animals!!! It makes u feel so small they are 17 mt long...and weight more than 3 or 4 tonns...They're just GORGEUS!!!! I terribly miss My girlfriend she's my love and I could pay lot's of money just for a hugh of hers!!! I LOVE HER!!!!!!!! Right now I'm a bit tipsy coz I've drunk 650ml of beer all by myself..and so all my griefs are augmented to the maximums... GIO TI AMO! =) well now I'm leaving coz I wanna see the sea by night!! It's a startling expirience!!! Bye to all!!
29/07/02
So everything has to pass my exam went I'm actually out of school wih nearly the maximum marks I could get. (96 out of 100) I'm still with my Gf & I've defintely fallen in LOVE with her and now that I'm in australia i miss her as I've never missed anyone (this is a peculiar thing to say 'coz I've never felt Home Sick) I've met over the net an old ozzy GF of mine I don't know how to behave I'm defintely NOT going to cheat on Gio I hope I won't have to face the opportunity to Coz I don't want to have to speak of this with her! For the rest I' happy I'm enjoing my holyday and this is the best thing!!! =)
Besides I'm a mean guy but I enjoy when one of the ones I hate suffers! She has been left by her boyfriend and SHE PROBABLY IS PREGNANT!!!! I'm so devilshly delighet by this news!!! MWUAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! whe has what she deserves!!!
17/06/02 -2 al primo scritto....
World today I've had a discussion with one of my BEST BEST friend!! God damn I'm so crancky at her she's saying stupid things...grrrr and all because of errors I've made in the fucking past... God damn it! I hope Gio will be able to soothe my anger....
Ok world I'm meeting a lot of people in this place! =P and the bloody whole of it are girls!! MAUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! =P I hope that my GF wont be readying this page or I'll be screwed up! =P Well now I'm going to pass to the Thanks to:
Lachesis --> the little vampire!! nice and very § friendly girl! =P
Bobosa --> a girl who likes to speak in English!! § she's friendly too!! =P and we found § § ours GF/BF nearly toghether!! =P
06/06/02 -13 al primo scritto....
Well a lot of things has happend since I wrote here... I met a gorgeous girl she has come in a very dark time is she the last doughter of Eve the girl with the half moon on her neck!? (no she isn't I've checked kissing her...) The one who will save all the vampires from Ghenna?!? I hope so! Losing myself in her embrace makes me feel something that for too long has been asleep in me!!! what else in these days!??! I keep on talking to 2 special girls here on studenti! MortalCoil my bigger sister and Whitegladys! I feel somthing more than friendship for this girls! They are my best net friends!! GIRLS THANKS FOR EVERYTHING!!! Well at last but not the least I have exams!!! I can't wait!! I wanna finish!!!!!
8/05/02
By the tragedy of man the field is lost the night falls and great is the triumph of evil... world I need holydays the waiting-for-a-bloody-exam makes me nervous and makes me tired as I've never been... can't wai to be in my ozzy friends hugh!especialy Catherine's one!! I I've seen the best theatre rappresentation EVER!!!! that man Is the gratest actor that lives on this dark-but-tainted-by-light world. TRISTANIA RULE!! ...the league is broken... now the last vestige of hope lives in the hidden king only he troubles the dark one's mind only he can bring ruin to th black foe...
26/03/02
I've never thought that I could be so masochist!! I like this bloody situation!! I like waiting fo so fucking long for an answer!!! Yeah she keep's telling me:-"Im so tired they're killing us!" Ok I'm concerned for u but I've told u that I like you a lot of time ago!!! I'd like to know how u feel about this... let's say u'r my haven and my hell... What else?! WE WON AGAINST THOSE STUPID OF THE FORTITUDO TEAM!!!! -31!!! I't so bloody cold!!!! We are the champions!!! we are the ones!!!!! VIRTUS IN ALTO STAT!!!!!!
03/03/02
Hey diary it has been a bloody long time since I've written here! a lot of thing has happend so I'll have to write a lot so here it goes:
a) I've declared my fondness for a very good friend of mine but she simply replied that she thought of me as her best friend but she hasen't said anything like I don't want u as a BF!
b) My best Ozzy mate(and ex GF) had her 16 B'day!!! I'm so happy for her but she hasen't answered me yet!!!!!!!
c) this school term has finished I got my report card and from my point of view IT sucks! even if it has got an average of 7.3!!! I want 8.1!!!!!!!
15/12/01
Funny stuff today I've met an ex student of my mother!!! She's quite a speaker I can talk in quite a good way w/ her! Hy KIMBAH!
22/12/01
I've met a girl that share my dream. HUSH I hope u get u'r dream realized! Hope to meet ya in OZ!!!!!!!!
25/12/01
HAPPY CHRISSY!!!!!!!
Today I've passed such a beautiful day I've been w/ all my family I got awesome presents and i felt a very relaxing and comforting sensation!!! It has been Fucking ages since I've felt so good!!!
Thx to all my family and friends for the support u give me!!!
07/01/02
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
Even if I'm late!!!! damn it it was a good new years eve!! Even If I've ruined it all i the night I've kissed who I shouldn't have! DAMN IT I'M A STUUPID IDIOT!!!! I'll pay for this And dearly damn it!!! I've kissed my best friend and this was her first kiss ever....... I'm fuked up!!
For the rest school's started and I've just discovered that for tomorrow I have to study a fuking lot of stuff but I'll be able to do that!!
Coz I'm THE WEASEL! No that's a cortoon it dosen't work like that but i'll manage this!
Bah per ora devo ricordarmi sti nick
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